playboy: smirnoff

:(

i don't like it it looks like she's wearing a wiener

Piglet learns a lesson

fuck modesty get yer freakum

Brian Lichtenberg Freakum Dress


this has been my dreammmmmm dream dress since 2008 and this year i wanna buy one. i think it's the year. i hesitated because i thought i would get over it or that it would become a bit passé, but i still obsess, more colors come out, and i know i LOVE ITTTTT. and i need this one EXACTLY... sorry to the kids, but all other similar styles are way too modest for me. less is more.

a modest attempt. fail.


when i say that i get obsessed with stuff like lace and mesh and feathers etc, i don't just mean it in terms of clothes. i mean it in terms of life. like this dress makes me have dreams about finding one of those mickey mouse hats at disneyland and using the ears to re-enact the booby area of the dress. or i will see pillows that i want to skin for their lace pattern. anything like that.

i love ensembles/pieces that are extreme. i look for "weird" instead of "cute." "cute" is what happens later when weirdness and beauty make children together!


tip of the day: if an outfit CAN'T be classified as at LEAST one or more halloween costumes it probably isn't worth wearing.

i like your shorts

“I just kept on saying, go shorter, go shorter. I knew we couldn’t go much shorter, but I think the end result was just right.” - Ri Ri

april fools

so today i got it real bad. sometimes i think i made up these stories but no, they really do happen to me and unusual events like mexicans pouring water out the window of their car on me DO HAPPEN!! .. wait just killed the story. WELL IT HAPPENED!

i was on a walk and it was hot today so i was wearing shorts and a sports bra. apparently that is slutty nowadays or just a really fun new joke-target. so i was on the phone with my boyfriend Jack and suddenly these mexican people in a car next to me on the street were like laughing and yelling and pointing at me. i thought they were gonna just drop it but no. i don't know how, but they threw a bunch of water on me and my PHONE and laughed and drove away.

SO VIOLATING! and WHY?! is there something offensive about people in sports bras now? was that an april fools joke? or is that just what the less-savory folks do for fun in their spare time? who knows. OVER IT. need to conspire for the remaining 4.5 hours.

dresses i would kill for

i.need.FEATHERS!!!! i tend to get obsessed with specialty fabrics like feathers, mesh, lace, fur, all those. Here are 2 recents i adoreeee







some of you may have seen my "black swan dress" attempt at the feathers



and okay i need a photoshop intervention on the red-eye feature....this is not unfamiliar news

how feathery are YOU?